Meet the Experts: Vanessa Marin, LMFT, is a licensed sex therapist in based in Los Angeles, California.
There are tons of positions you can take on while playing with yourself, and then, should you want to bring someone in on the action, you'll know exactly what you want them to do and can communicate that off the bat. Try as they may, it's unlikely someone pleasures you better than you can, so dedicate some quality time to discovering what gets you off without the pressure of having to make someone else feel good. Going it alone? You can mix it up during a solo sesh, too. There are SO many possibilities out there-some even beyond your wildest imagination. While it’s easy to become a creature of habit as soon as you’ve nailed that go-to, comfortable, climax-every-time position, Parks urges you to keep mixing it up. But even after you’ve found that pain-free position, that doesn’t mean it’s your only option. "If you're thinking 'ouch' when the offer of sex is put on the table, you could definitely benefit from exploring other positions that are more comfortable for folks, as well as those with chronic pain, or pain from penetration," Parks adds. In some cases, switching up positions might even be a must.
And in the end, you’ll find your relationship injected with an extra dose of trust. New sex positions will encourage vulnerability with one another in-and outside of-the bedroom. Exploration between the sheets amps up emotional intimacy and encourages partners to take risks and grow together. "One significant challenge to intimacy is the loss of novelty in the bedroom," says Shawntres Parks, PhD, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist in San Diego. Trying out different ~moves~ can also work wonders for your relationship. In short, your brain craves newness, and for many people, the brain is very involved in excitement and satisfaction. "Anytime you introduce something fresh and novel into the bedroom, you set yourself up for a more stimulating experience and bigger finish," says Vanessa Marin, LMFT, a licensed sex therapist in Los Angeles. Even the hottest spark in the bedroom needs new sex positions to stoke the flames from time to time-otherwise, things get boring, fast. Your sexcapades, though? Definitely not one of them.
Some things in life are better on repeat: Friends, perfectly sunny beach days, your trusty manicure.
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